Sinners' Cathedral

So you want to save videos.

2010-05-01T05:29:00.000-07:00

This is something exclusively made for JooTheng.

Ok, to save a video, first open up your Youtube tab on Firefox. The one thing you need to know is this:

Then you open a new tab, and the type keepvid.com on the url bar like this:

After that, copy the url of the youtube video, and paste to keepvid. like this:

Then click on "download" and this will appear.

Then, a pop-up will appear, click yes and check the box "run this everytime" and it will be smoother later. Save the video, and you're done.

The UGLY Truth

2009-11-10T02:29:00.001-08:00

Where you get rejected for being ugly

Attention ladies and gentlemen, if you're not beautiful, don't even bother trying.

The site in question is a very self-serving www.beautifulpeople.com, and apparently is the sexiest website in the world right now, or according to to CNN it is. A few things about the site:

1. It's a dating site. (How is that different from match.com you ask? Read below!)
2. It's a dating site for elite, beautiful people. (Ugh, it's discriminating.. or is it?)
3. It's a dating site for people who are naturally inclined to beauty.

So the gist is that the whole thing works this way: You apply online, and then the members will be given 48 hours to vote if you're beautiful enough (very democratic, no?), and if you are, congratulations! You're certified beautiful enough to meet beautiful people from all over the world.

You are now allowed to gain access to meeting, dating beautiful people that is also very beautiful and have some beautiful babies! Statistics never lie:

BeautifulPeople.com is known to quickly and successfully bring people together.

According to the statement, more than 10,000 serious relationships have been founded through BeautifulPeople.com.

More than 400 beautiful babies have been born to members.

More than 80,000 members have had a romantic interlude through BeautifulPeople.com, the statement said.

See? I'm sorry peeps, but it's the ugly truth of survival that the world needs less of ugly people. I mean, it's natural, right? Survival of the fittest (or in this case, beautiful-est) and the laws of natural selection?

My honest opinion - Give me a break.

To make it sound as being called beauty is the only thing that matters in life ruined my decades of coming to terms with not being categorized as beautiful. Yes, decades, because ugly and fat is probably the worst thing you can tell a girl right in her face, and it's probably what caused the many people I know to sometimes not eat, eat very little, or crazy diets.

I believe that people who experienced oppression are more considerate - because how can they not be? People who had been called ugly will think twice before calling another person that because they know how much it actually hurts. Beautiful people have no qualms calling people ugly because they never knew how is it like being one. Conformity towards societal perception is one of the main causes for social ills, whether you like it or not.

All in all (I have so many things to say about this matter, it's hard to organize my thoughts) I can only say one thing:

If you think looks are the end-all and be-all, you're pretty much losing out on everything the world has to offer.

What the hell?

2009-10-28T18:28:00.000-07:00

No, just no!

Marry a single mother, and get rewarded!

BUT, but but, the offer's only directed to Kelantan assemblymen.

So horny men throughout Malaysia, you know what to do.

What exactly is wrong with this idea? Everything

Let's dissect the report, shall we?

First:

1. Being a single mother is not a crime!

“This would help to reduce the number of single mothers in the state,” she said in reply to a question by Hassan Mahmood (PAS-Tawang), who had asked what was being done to reduce the number of divorce cases and what efforts were being taken by the state government to help single mothers.

Now you get me, right? Why is it necessary to reduce single mothers? In families we say "let's reduce domestic discord"; in school we say "let's reduce truancy, gangsterism, smoking, etc etc"; in society we say "let's reduce murderers, snatch thieves, robbers, conmen etc etc etc.

Why the hell will someone actually lump single mothers in these categories?

Maybe it's the inadequacy of family institution, maybe it's the perceived higher rate of uhm, how do I put it, unsuccessfully bred children which roots could be traced to not having a father figure. Or maybe it's the misplaced sympathy on single mothers.

But no. They don't rob, they don't intentionally increase harmful incidents in the state by being being a single mother, and they don't, for the love of everything, choose to be one. For one, the notion about single mothers raising children inadequately is a load of bull - perfect looking families can raise a dangerous criminal as well. Put simply, just because you bleed from cutting yourself with a potato knife, doesn't mean everything sharp is a threat to human lives.

2. Go for the root, not the consequence!

She said one dilemma facing some single mothers in Kelantan and the country as a whole was that many of them could not register at the Welfare Department or related agencies because their husbands had left them without filing for divorce.

See, they do understand the reason why single mothers are having a hard time.

Objectifying them using misplaced sympathy? Double the pain. Not only you're subjecting them (single mothers) to the whims of men once again, it's making them a prize.

Husbands left them without filing for divorce? Make it a crime for the husbands to do so.

Letting the irresponsible run free and grant them objectifying sympathy? TRIPLE.

3. Single mothers need support, not sympathy.

Please do not associate sympathy with support - support is a form of help, sympathy is a form of emotional relativity. You can sympathize without helping but you can support with no sympathy.

I'd rather have the latter, and I suppose this move is doing the former.

To strengthen my point?

..suggestion drew support from backbenchers -- all of them men -- who started thumping their palms on the table at the Kelantan State Assembly on Wednesday.

Need I say more?

In short - what misogyny.

Redundancy is relevant

2009-09-02T12:29:00.000-07:00

So uhm, like everyone could see, I am a bad blogger. For someone who claims that the one thing she could die doing is writing, I am terrible with blogging obligations. I never cared if anyone reads it, I never bothered reading others (unless I feel like keeping up with them or they are some strangers in a foreign land talking about things that interests me and/or prying on my sisters) - in short, it never matters to me.

So er, why would this post be irrelevant?

Because it will be where I rant about my discontent for the increasing trends of poses like this in every freaking profile of everyone:

Yes peeps. It's the wave of Asian Poses that is sweeping unapologetically. (My apologies goes to whoever's picture got posted in this humble little rant of mine) It attacked the little girls in their tweens trying to look cuter than they already are, semi-teenage girls testing their phone cameras, teenage girls attempting to get guys by looking cute and being cool doing it, and post-teenage almost-adults never wanting to grow up. I'm not trying to demean everyone who does it, but it's annoying to the eyes because it's neither stylish nor natural.

Those with any expertise on self-portrait will of course, defy everything that's written here. "Gimme a break, it's self-expression!" or maybe, meaner, "You're old, and you can't accept new trends".

All I can say is well - you don't look in the least pretty in it, so why bother?

I really hope it remains as a trend that will come and go fast. I genuinely love fashion and prided myself in having a sensible taste; however, I also believe in self-expression that genuinely express yourself. Poses like that makes me think of people who are not acting silly for the heck of it, but people who genuinely thinks that ONLY flattering pictures of themselves are any form of self-expression. Whatever happened to sincere-looking smiles? Pictures are things that you use to reminisce.

"Ah, that's sweet of me back then."

"Oh wow, I didn't realize how fat I was last time."

'Holy, I looked like a total nerd."

But what can you reminisce from these pictures with pseudo-cutesy poses?

"Dude, was that me?"

"Shit, you don't look like yourself at all.'

With that, I take my leave. Will blog about something serious tomorrow.

I want it end now.

2009-04-09T06:04:00.000-07:00

I'm getting the feeling that I'm a nasty person to choose as a blogger. It's not my way of expressing ideas, thoughts - but it's for me to rant. And I just happened to be a far more eloquent posted when I'm pissed than anything.

I woke up today with a feverish state of body. Cold but not cold yet. Feeling sick but not sick yet. A thought came across me that perhaps it's an unknown and yet to be curable ailment that renders me workable. Only sickly workable. Needless to say, lab session failed, and then the emo session begins. As much as I went on about creating datas for the subjective aspects of my thesis, when it comes down to it, I'm a pretty honest person. Thanks to my own ego that had somewhat commissioned an individualistic sense of honour that abides to no one but my own screwed up flow of logic.

Probably at best at certain times, but I'm certain that it's the worst this time. Not only that I felt guilty about conjuring things up in places that might matter, but also an automatic self-condemning system would be activated. This is when I will be remembering how much I failed in certain times, how much of a useless jerk I am, what are the regrets I have. Granted this feeling probably does not last longer than a few days, but when it comes, it's nothing to shout about. Cue: complete loss of appetite, bad health, sudden shrinkage (a friend told me that it was obvious that I lost some weight), mood swings, erratic sleeping patterns, and the desire to burn (verbally) everyone who expressed immense hatred for things that I like.

I want an end to the pre-graduation struggle and get a job quickly. I know one could never be prepared enough for what's out there waiting, and I know I would miss the college life like hell when I left it for whatever I get later on. Things are just shitty and I'd rather be earning money than to sit around wasting my own health for something that might not even matter come this convocation.

Say, if for example, instead of working as someone in the Science field, I ended up as the marketing staff.

Hypothetically, of course. Though I am putting some efforts into applying for a job in publishing and journalism. Who know?

Such is University life?

2009-04-03T06:54:00.000-07:00

I was actually contemplating on whether to update or not, I seriously have nothing to update other than senselessly ranting about how it seemed like forever before I could actually finish my stuff. I actually used to think that blogging is about self-absorbed. However, later I realized that it's actually rather intriguing to have a space in the interweb dedicated to how you view the world - and that's what I would like my blogs to be. On how I would like the world to change.

For all big talks that I just said, I would probably have to wait for a little while longer - all those hours slaving over stuffs that are as menial matters like typing notes for all other people to take later on; or even doing labs on results in which I would have to invent for the sake of accuracy or lack thereof; or maybe get myself absorbed in yet another series, manga, anime, or book? Reading the news always make me feel small. Like what I go through everyday is a simple matter of routine; not in anyway a form of distress at all. So what if I were to stay overnight in a lab for a thesis work? That's in no way even remotely comparable to living in the danger zone, hearing bullets zooming over my head or getting earthquakes so often, it's becoming a part of life. Way, way more privileged than that.

For most of the time, however, if you ask me if there is anything I ever regretted? Was that I did nothing for the bigger cause. None the energy and none the materialistic ability to do so. Some people might think that it's an understandable reason - but for me it's an excuse. A treason against the greatness that they have been bestowed upon. Clearly, while inabilities to provide materialistic aid might seemed to spell an end of concern for the worldwide suffering, the best anyone could ever do was to be aware of what is actually happening.

My point? There's so many ignorant people in the national university, it's not even funny.

| Relief |

2008-10-21T18:10:00.000-07:00

This probably is the last of the academic-related rants I'll be posting in many months to come.

So yea.

Met my thesis supervisor. Tell her that I'm changing my thesis supervisor. Well aware that I might have to extend another semester and graduate a year later.

She knew it. Pre-informed before I went to tell her straight to her face, tell her from my very mouth.

I personally think that it is a good move, since you will be pressurized unnecessary and I still wouldn't like your work anyway.

She gave me advises on how I'm going to go after this, who should I take. What will be a better choice for me.

We parted in good terms. No bad blood exchanged. No yelling. Good for her, good for me.

Dear lord, I love her. She is back to the lecturer I had deeply respected, and had hated because of what happened in thesis-based relationship.

Thank you. I'll take your advises.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart for restoring my respect for you.

I'm sorry to have disappointed you, and I'm glad that we parted in good terms.

Status Update. Rant. Angry.

2008-10-20T22:17:00.000-07:00

10 October 2008 @ 12:02 am

Rant. Bitch. Whine. Not Good for Your Health. WTF.

I bet you live your life only thinking about your achievements and live in a happy-go-lucky world. Which I think is good, because you are only stressed when you are supposed to see me.

Really. My thesis supervisor apparently thinks that being optimistic is a cardinal sin. I'm supposed to stress myself to death and show that I'm stressing it because or else there will be no evident that I did try. I look pretty, fair, radiant - conclusion made? I didn't stress myself over my thesis and I didn't try. Wut? Blame my complexion for my apparent lack in credibility? Judge me because I look nice and cool?

Evaluating me based on how I live the life? Serious shit is getting too personal. How I live my life affected my work - but they aren't the basis for telling me that I shouldn't be optimistic. Imply that I should give up when it's not the greatest work I've ever done. Imply that I should leave the door of your office and get another lecturer to guide a loser like me. Imply that being idealistic is an unwanted virtue. Seriously WTF?

Stop at telling me how my experimental designs have no basis. Stop at telling me that my justification is not explaining stuff. Stop at saying that my analysis isn't clear.

Don't tell me my optimism and persistence to continue are bad and ridicule them. I'm not going to be some asshole who deserted all other group assignments on the basis that they are getting some strict lecturer as their supervisor. I like to make failure my own and rather not drag other people in. I like being optimistic, and no one knew how much it took me to get where I am now. Respected by peers, liked by many and kind of successful?

Don't tell me that I live a fairy tale life and care for nothing. I went through hell and depression in my teenage years. Suffered social stigma and problems. Family troubles. Public jeers. Known as the girl with attitude problems. Now a university representative in debate tournaments. Class representative. Capable bitch.

Tell me optimism didn't play a part.

Tell me that I didn't try, didn't stressed myself, lie to myself, the worst student she's ever taken, good at everything else except understanding fluid dynamics of a hydrocolloid's gelling system (WTF, I dropped Physics in High School) -

The hell.

Look. I slept less than 8 hours cumulatively in three days. I eat once a day and felt nauseous the day after. I didn't sleep for 25 hours. I slaved my head over tons books and scientific journals for days. To come up with a presentation on Powerpoint.

For some things that you told me, dear supervisor, here is what I sincerely think:

I seriously think you need to change supervisor
No, I'll stay and haunt you.

You're my nightmare, you know that?
Thanks, more reason to stay.

I think your research may fail.
That's what you think.

You don't know what you don't know.
Mind telling me? Since you know, I'm a retard case in your book and all.

Maybe you should extend.
You have no rights to. Give me bad grades. No asking me to extend unless I decided to jack the thesis altogether.

You rank among the lowest among my students.
Yes, in being a photocopy machine, I'm glad I do rank the lowest.

Now, think about this. I helped every lecturer with everything for years. So, why the hell am I the only one with serious troubles?

***
Ok, that felt good. Excuse me while I get some sleep and slave over the corrections. Among other stuffs.

__________________________________________________________________

21 October 2008 @ 12:38 am

Anger Management. I need it.

Had some sort of emotional breakdown last week, and the rest was a rollercoaster ride for the finishing. Got a dress for the annual dinner, a new pair of shoes and look pretty in them.

Decided that enough was enough, and now changing my thesis supervisor. Didn't want to listen to people calling me their "nightmare" when all I did was to do my work. I need to graduate. I need a thesis for that. I hand in sucky work, and she had to evaluate me. Like uhm, do your job because you are being paid to guide me? I didn't want to spend 25 hours not sleeping to complete a task which will be returned back to me, with me needing to redo from the start till the end. Didn't want to throw up after eating just because I had conveniently forgotten a meal or two. Didn't want to suffer emotional torture and verbal abuse.

One risk - high change of extending. My eternal gratitude to you, dearest unneccesary bureocracy.

Now, now. My parents, bless their illiteracy, chose the wrong time to get misunderstood.

What happened to you? Were you fooling around? Did you fail anything? Do you know how embarassing would that be?

No, papa and mommy. I am simply being a super loser. I can't bear to have anyone call me their nightmares, and at the expense of my timely graduation, I am now changing my thesis supervisor.

Argued with my sisters.

Sis, please give proofs that you aren't failing, or else daddy and mommy don't understand.

No. I did not fail anything. Period.

My only failure is to have chosen her as my thesis supervisor. Did not fail anything. I'm a good girl. I sit in my room, read, study and work. Goodness me, I'm a workaholic. I didn't fool around.

Mother called me back. Little sister cleared things up.

Please sleep early. Remember to eat. We will support you. Do whatever you want.

I love you momma, I love you papa, but my life sucks now. I hadn't meant to be angry, but until now, hours after you called me, my heart's still beating fast with contempt for nothing. Now you know why I need a way out. I am still angry, for no reasons. Heart thumping with discontent. Not good for person who is supposed to be an adult.

I need to relax. I need sleep.

I have an quiz in 7 hours.

Life. This is how you are being spelled right now.

Where patriotism is concerned, I’m yet to have any….

2008-03-11T05:46:00.000-07:00

So the two weeks of campaigning (which includes advertisements of candidates via banners, posters, street speeches, and so on), and thus the Malaysian general elections is over. The nation was swept by a wind of change since the majority party lost in a way which qualifies as the greatest loss ever, but that’s probably besides the point.

Both my parents voted for the opposition party which won, and I didn’t vote. Ok, so I am actually legitimately qualified as a voter, older by a year and a few months (I’m 22, if there is anyone reading this who is not aware on how old I am), but yes, I’m being unpatriotic this time, refusing both my responsibility and rights as a faithful citizen just be casting my choice who the representative of the people in the ballot box. I’m pretty confident that I’m not the only ignorant (or any objectives others may choose to describe the legitimate non-voters) ones in the country, by which I agree that many in my age range have yet to understand the significance of voting and the change which may be executed. It’s my fault to have missed the registration to be qualified as a voter, and it is also my choice to not vote even if I registered. Which simply indicates that I will not vote, registered or not.

However, is the choice of voting or not a reflection of the level of political awareness, or lack thereof? I would think that presumably, this is how the 90% of the youth here is being accurately described. It’s not a sad case, however, it just meant that they are more interested in worldly things which youths indulge rather than the notion of changing anything. Early 20s is an age range where most made a slow transition from a teenager to an adult; whereby old habits die hard. As such, in a peaceful country like mine (devoid of political unrests, civil wars, constant parliament reshuffling, riots and so on – at least not yet), politics may very well lie in the least prioritized for the youth. The elderly ones (in Asian countries especially) often remarked on how ignorant the youth could be, however, the other way may not necessarily meant instant receptions from them.

The notion of humility and respect for the elders play a part here. When the young ones are not showing any concern for things like politics, they are shunned and dismissed as oblivious; and when they are, they are deemed rebellious. Eastern values are not easily receptive of the outspokenness of the youth, and thus, we just have to shrug and let it slide. “What do you young ones know anyway” were the most heard remarks, and I cannot help but sigh at that.

At the end of the day, watching the dramas of elections all around the world, and you just cannot help comparing them. Having possibly more knowledge on the much-hyped Obama-Clinton saga (which I think Obama may emerge victorious) than the national candidates in the election, I shudder to foresee the unruliness of the campaign should the campaign period be prolonged. I loved the fact that there are those in other countries are given greater privilege in terms of the duration in which the candidates are tested (to see their perseverance and determination, and possibly their endurance), not that I’m kissing the American asses, but surely Malaysia could do more than two weeks of campaign. Not immediate, but gradually? Extending by two weeks as each election is held until an optimum duration is achieved?

Ah, well. How could you blame the youth for being ignorant when the duration is simply too short for anything to be done? Two weeks? Why should we be aware of anything when there is no apparent effort in the candidates to prove themselves rather than hide and be protected by the parties’ names and reputations? Instead of choosing to go for the lengths to which the personal integrity of the candidates could be proven, it’s all about the recognition of the symbol they bear next to their names in the poster and banners. Collective cooperation? Perhaps the term “playing safe” is a more accurate description.

Times like this, coupled with the parliamentary monstrosities that we the loyal newspaper readers have our faces been shoved with, had me thinking about a possible addition to what I will do in the future – take part in politics, and see if I could do anything to induce changes. Elections are over, yes, they do; but it is making my inner power-hungry demon roaring like never before. Probably because it never roared for the sake of my country.

*roar*

Perhaps I just would love the notoriety that awaits me when a revolution starts, and how it feels like to be in that spectrum of fame.

The first post and nothing serious.

2008-02-16T11:32:00.000-08:00

Huh, this time, i'll get serious. Ironically.

When there is a way of self-expression, why not try Blogspot? Because i'm in the mood that's why. Trust that when there is a will, there should be a way.

There is me recently been obsessed with Irish music recently, and i'm especially awed by this one - Cry of the Celts by Lord of the Dance.

Being an obsessive music addict, my search led me to a torrent file which allowed me a full access to the songs from this musical production called Lord of the Dance, led, founded, choreographed by Michael Flatley. If you do not fancy guys in tight shirts and tight pants, perhaps Micheal Flatley is not what you can see the person doing the best in your fashion directory. But the tap-dancing, choreography and synchronization - wonderfully awesome. Recent interest cultivated by the recent download of "The best of Melodic Celtic music" - and yea; imagine my ecstacy.

Then again - i need more researching for deeper and more obsessive understanding on what Irish and Celtic music differs in.

Disclaimer: Downloading is illegal.